Å komme til kjernen i terapi

Hvordan har det seg at det ofte er først mot slutten av en terapitime at man kommer til de dypere, mer følelsesladde temaene? Kjempefin artikkel om nettopp dette hos PsychCentral: «Getting to the good part in therapy«. Les et utdrag her:

Therapy clients often come to therapy with a conscious agenda of what they want to talk about, but there is always an unconscious agenda as well. The top item on that agenda is the preservation of safety.

Some people find it difficult to feel safe in the presence of another person. In their experience, closeness and intimacy lead to shame, rejection, punishment, or domination. Even the most empathic therapist can feel like a formidable obstacle to a person whose vulnerability has been exploited or disregarded, particularly in their earliest relationships.

The invitation to allow oneself to be known is like a double-edged sword. We long to express our deep, personal thoughts and feelings, but we dread the negative consequences we’re used to experiencing when we do so. The psyche protects itself by only allowing access to material that has already been processed and is therefore safe to be known.

However, as the process of therapy continues and the client repeatedly experiences the therapist as caring, understanding and nonjudgmental, the psyche’s self-protective defenses begin to loosen. Sometimes it may only feel safe to “know” certain memories and their attendant feeling states for short periods of time, like in the last few minutes of the therapy hour.

Hvordan velge riktig terapeut

Psychology Today har publisert en spennende artikkel av Jonathan Shedler om hva folk bør tenke over når de skal velge terapeut. Jeg synes dette gir mening! Les gjerne hele artikkelen for en mer grundig gjennomgang, eller nøy deg med følgende oppsummering:

So how do you choose a therapist? You steer clear of ideologues and experts-at-everything. You don’t search far and wide for someone who specializes in treating people with exactly your problem because there are no other people with exactly your problem. When you meet, notice whether the therapist seems more interested in you or your diagnosis. Notice whether the therapist invites you to think together about what is really the matter. Notice whether the two of you are able to develop a shared understanding of what is the matter that rings true to you, that was not already evident to you. The last part might take a few meetings but the trajectory should be moving in that direction from the beginning. If all of these ingredients are there, you’ve probably found a good one.